Theory is as Theory does

This past week in my family relations class, we learned about the different kinds of theories that influence the family. There are four types which are: Family Systems Theory, Exchange Theory, Symbolic Interaction Theory, and Conflict Theory. Family Systems Theory talks about the family as a whole, but each individual brings a different part and role to the family. For example, I described my own family as a Circus.

My dad is the Ringmaster of our family. He is the “most visible performer in the modern circus, and among the most important, since he stage-manages the performance, introduces the various acts, and guides the audience through the entertainment experience.” This definition fits him perfectly. Although he enjoys being the center of attention, he is also reliable and always willing to help other family members succeed. Although we may not always like his advice, or the way he presents it, he is well intentioned. He clashes a lot with my mom, and they have had to work hard for the marriage they share, but they are very loyal, and still very much in love.

My mom is the Juggler. She is always juggling everyone else’s lives, and never seems to get any time for herself. Because of this, she is easily stressed. My mom tends to enjoy the company of her children and husband one on one rather than all at once. But with her family of origin, she gleans tons of energy from being with all 10 of her siblings and then some!

 I am the Tight rope walker. I always seem to be the “balancer” when things go wrong in my family, or two people are fighting.I am also one to keep to myself at times, and just watch others interact, or the “bystander”

Jack is the Lion Tamer. He is a hard worker when put to the task, but also enjoys “living on the edge”. He seems to be the “rebel” of our family, and tends to find trouble.He is also kindhearted, and easy to talk to. He is always willing to lend an ear or shoulder to those who are struggling in the family.

Simon is the clown of the family. Although he doesn’t seem to take the spotlight very often, everything that seems to come out of his mouth is hilarious. He is always trying to make people laugh, and tends to not have to work very hard for his keep. Or rather, doesn’t. Simon is also very easygoing, and gets along with all members of the family.

Emilie is the Horse Trainer of the family. She is always bossing everyone else around and expects us to obey her. But she is also adventurous and fun. Because she has a way of making it sound like she is constantly putting others down, the family has a difficult time having “normal” conversations with her. But she means well.

We can’t forget our Hippo Tilly (Olde English Bulldogge) or our Dancing Poodle Pearl! :)

Exchange Theory is when the costs are lower than the rewards, or in other words you only continue to do things for each other if you both get something out of it. Symbolic Interaction Theory is where people create meaning out of cognitive processes such as: My husband clearly doesn’t love me because he’s always teasing me or telling me what to do with my time. Whereas the husband is thinking, I sure think its cute when my wife gets that mad look on her face, I think I’ll tease her again! And if she gets everything done on time, we’ll have more time to spend together doing fun things. Each person creates or assumes someone else’s intentions from every interaction that they experience. Finally, Conflict Theory is when power may be covert or subtle, but all couples have differences in opinion. Whether or not there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong from an outsider’s perspective. It was a very interesting theme, and I kept thinking about my own interactions with family members and friends, and how each of these theories applies to those relationships.